I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
