Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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