Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
