yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He better not be in your backpack
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
