Dual....:-)
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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