let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
