Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
