I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
