Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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