I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
