We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
