Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
