Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
