he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I had to cum in my sink.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
