**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i would punch a child for taco bell
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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