I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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