Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
no, he came in my armpit
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
