I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
