Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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