I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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