it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Fuck appropriateness.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
