Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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