shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize