Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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