I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I want a musical about memes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
