Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
