Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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