Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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