you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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