I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
