she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
