i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
