I seem to have left my pride at pride
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
