Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
