So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
