I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
