The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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