Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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