PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
