Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
