Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
