you win again, gameday.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
