I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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