btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
