i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
