I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
