Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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