dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
