I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
