i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
These tits shall not be calmed
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
