I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
